On Rituals
A ritual is a form of self care, a promise that connects our past, present, and future selves.
Whatever we have going on in our lives, we have the comfort of this repeated action. That is a reminder of the inviolability of the self, the inner core that makes up who we are. That inner core is protected and set apart from the world.
Every night, I go to bed with a cup of hot tea. Usually, it’s chamomile mint, or sleepy time. I’ve done it for at least a decade.
When I lived in Shanghai, I used to stack candles underneath a teapot, keeping the tea warm all night.
The warm, flickering of the candles was my companion through the evenings.
Throughout the years, in all the places I’ve lived, in the relationships I’ve been in. Past all the changes, I always have my nightly cup of tea.
It’s something that stays with me and thus, provides a grounding sense of comfort and love.
The best rituals are automatic, they speak so deeply to us, they just happen.
But any ritual can be shaped, it can be created.
Repeated actions have a sense of the religious to them, as they are something that we carry with us as time passes.
They can be a form of self love, or comfort, as we continue the relationship we have with ourselves. I see my nightly tea as a form of promise that connects my past and future selves.
There are many types of rituals. Prayer, running, meditation, writing, and countless others.
If you do not have a ritual, I would encourage you to think about what is authentically you. Or, what the best version of yourself would do. In this process, be kind to yourself, and remember that the truest version of yourself is not necessarily the most productive or materially wealthy. But the version of yourself that carries a deep form of authenticity.
Poetry and art are reminders of the deep well of human emotion that exists within us. The best art acts as a bridge between the deep truths of others and the deep truths within ourselves.
Rituals are one way to discover and maintain that inner truth.